One Year...

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

For those of you who didn't know him, this was my furry little brother Reno (not to be confused with my "Fuzzy" little brother Chance). He died on this day one year ago. It was certainly one of the worst days of my life and one of the worst days for my whole family. He really was a good dog. He had such a huge personality. He loved to wrestle and play with the boys and he knew that when he wanted some peace and quiet he could go to my mom. The thing I loved most about him was that he would let me cuddle him and love on him as often as I wanted and for as long as I wanted. Sometimes he'd act put out by it, but in the end he was always willing to give me a hug when I needed it. He was also such a little punk!! I can't tell you how many times we'd come home and he'd jump off the couch and lay on the floor acting like he hadn't been on the couch at all. Or all the times I'd walk in my room and he'd be sleeping on my bed, drooling on my pillow. I have photo evidence of that! He was a total spaz when it came to thunder and lightning and fireworks. He would climb into your lap and try to cuddle into a ball there when he was scared. Keep in mind, he was a good 80-85 pound golden retriever, not some silly little lap dog! I remember when we first brought him home... We were all eating ice cream cones and he was on the couch (even tho my mom didn't want him there...) and my mom turned her head for one second and he ate the ice cream right off her cone. When she yelled at him he actually barked at her! He always had an attitude like he was a person too. And we all really did feel like he was a part of the family. He was only 9 years old when he died, and I feel like we really didn't have enough time with him. But the times we did have with him were fun and it is fun to remember those times.

I know that one day I will own another dog, and I will have to go thru this all over again... But you know what? I think its totally worth all the wonderful memories we get. Dogs are wonderful companions and I think everyone should get the opportunity to have a furry brother in their life as I have for all of mine.

I suppose I should also give a quick baby update... She's still hanging out in the womb. Haha. We saw the doc on Monday and nothing has happened. We'll see him again this upcoming Monday and in the meantime be hoping she comes!! Well, maybe it would be best if she waited another week so I can get my house in order. I get to quit my job next week and I am THRILLED about it!!! That just means she's even closer to being in my arms and not hanging off my front end. Hahaha.

Peace out homefrys!

A Little News and A Lot of Whining!

Grawr. Sorry to all of you, but I'm pretty much just going to whine about being pregnant.

So tune out now if you don't want to hear it.

So I am 4 weeks away from my due date. Basically I feel like a solar system waddling around and trying not to run into things. I'm like an inch from my steering wheel and I'm not sure that I will even be able to drive in a few weeks if my belly keeps growing at the alarming rate that it is; and being as short as I am, moving the seat back is not an option. My back is KILLING me. Ever had a contraction in your back? It basically makes you contemplate chinese paper torture just to take the focus off of how unbearably painful it is. Which makes me wonder how in the WORLD I am going to survive this without drugs. What's that you say? How come I'm not going to get drugs? Well, for those of you who don't know this already, its b/c drugs make my body hate me and shut down all my vital systems entirely. Seems like I'm going to need all systems go to take care of a baby. Speaking of baby, she sure is a wiggly little thing. I swear she likes to rub her legs together like a grasshopper just to hear me make noises and to make me squirm. I still can't stop thinking about the Alien movies. I don't think she's all that little anymore. When I can feel her poking me on two sides at once, then I think she's outgrown her home. I will be considered full term in a week and then we'll be having long chats about how long she plans to stay in there. When I say "we" I mean me and baby. Derek hears enough of my whining to know how I feel about my current state. My ribs hurt. Not so much hurt as BURN LIKE THE FIERY DEPTHS OF... well, you know. I can't really explain it, but believe me, its not fun. Nausea has returned with a vengance. I have heartburn like only a Patty Prego can. And don't even get me started on my patience issue. And to top it all off, I. AM. SO. TIRED. ALL. THE. TIME.

And that's all. There are good things that are happening tho. I am getting lots of practice with contractions. Some are a lot more painful than others (see above) but most are just weird and a bit uncomfortable. I'm having issues timing them tho b/c my attention span is like half a second long. I'm serious. I'll be in the middle of a thought and see something shiny and that's all she wrote. I'm pretty proud of myself for making mostly complete sentences. We went to the doc yesterday and he said that everything still looks great and there's still no reason to worry that she might come early. Although "worry" isn't exactly the word I would use. More like "hope". But whatever. I'm not a doctor. Just a really whiney pregnant penguin/whale/solar system/insert-whatever-your-favorite-large-waddly-thing-is-here.

OK, if you tuned out the whining, you can tune back in for other news now.

*ahem*
Derek is RIDICULOUSLY busy with school and work. He gets up early and stays up late and I don't know how he does it, but he still manages to be the same happy-go-lucky guy I fell in love with. I wish I could handle stress half as well as he does! He's just awesome. He is taking a day off just for FUN coming up in a few weeks. I know he's pretty excited for that... and I am too! I am getting the feeling lately that he is just as excited to graduate as I am. We can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel! He also talks to the baby a lot and tells her how excited he is to meet her. It is SO cute!!! She wiggles double-time when he talks to her. And he asks her not to kick me in the ribs too much. I think it is funny when he talks to her like a person. I mean, she is a person, but he talks to her like an adult. Like I said, SO cute!!!

Well, I think that's about all I have to report on.... for now. :)

Peace out homefrys!

...I'm Not Feeling Creative Enough Today...

Hello all...

I'll give you an advance warning, I am like the walking dead right now. I'm soooooo tired!

It's been... slow for me but busy for Derek. All my days blend together yet the weeks seem to be stretching on forever... I don't know if that makes any sense at all. I feel like I've been pregnant for WAY longer than 7 (almost 8) months. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't growing exponentially now. This was news to me... Fuzzy freaked out when he saw me this weekend. I just saw him last weekend and yet he said that I was way bigger this weekend. *Picture a big frown on my face right now* I guess I don't see it b/c I see myself every day.
Hahaha... that sounds weird... but it could just be b/c I'm tired and everything is funny right now....

My belly is all wiggly....

Derek has been working and going to school... too much work and too much school, if you ask me. Actually, he probably has the same opinion. (That wasn't the word I was looking for, just so you know.) We are both so excited that its his LAST SEMESTER and that we're ALMOST out of this horrible place!!! I think we're both just a bit nervous about our living situation and hoping that it works out. I'd like to talk about that... but b/c I cannot be nice, I won't.

Um... we went to the doc today and everything seems to be good... There's no reason to think she might come early, as far as we can tell. That is both good and REALLY depressing at the same time. The next appt is in 2 weeks.... then it will be every week til I pop. Woo hoo! I am really quite looking forward to not having the appetite of a baby killer whale anymore....

I think there's really nothing else to tell....

Peace out homefrys...

He's Her Lobster!

I'm supposed to be cleaning... but instead I'm watching my tummy wiggle around. Still the weirdest experience of my life.

School started for Derek this week. Part of me is insanely jealous b/c I wish I was going back and graduating this semester like so many of my friends. But a bigger part of me is perfectly ok with not being there b/c I have a husband and baby girl on the way instead. I will go back one day... hopefully soon. I am so excited for Derek. He's taking a few less hours than he has every other semester, and that has made it so he can work more and regular hours. He still has to work Saturdays, but I get to see him at 6 o'clock every night instead of 10!!! YAY! He does have to wake up super early every morning to do it tho. I can't even begin to tell you all how much I appreciate all the things he does for me and our future family. I am SO proud of him and all that he has managed to accomplish... all the while taking care of me! (As many of you know, I'm not exactly what you'd call "low maintainence" haha)

We have another doctor appointment on monday... If they stick to the normal plan, then this should be the last 4 week appointment... Then we will go to two weeks. That makes me nervous. I am 30 weeks pregnant now, so only about 10 more to go. In so many ways that is the best news and the scariest news all at once! If she were to show up today (which I very sincerely hope not!! she needs to do more growing!) she would think we didn't love her! She has two binkies, two blankets, and some pajamas. That is IT. Poor baby. It freaks me out that we are so severely unprepared for her. But there's no reason to think that she might come early, and two months is plenty of time to get things in order.

We are still not sure where we're headed come springtime. Derek heard from a company in Arizona the other day. Back in September we took Arizona off the list of options for a few reasons. One: it is too close to Utah. I know you all think I'm evil for wanting to be as far from this place as possible, but you are WRONG. Hahaha. And two: it is just more desert, and an even hotter desert than here. I REALLY want some humidity. And last: Derek and I really want to have our own adventure somewhere totally new and different. So, with all that said, when Derek told me that he got a call from this company in AZ while I was staring out of my office window at snow falling... Well, I was a bit more enthusiastic this time around. Haha. I REALLY hate snow and cold. And an offer to live in a desert with NO snow (or very rare snow that melts super fast) sounded AWESOME at that point in time. After further research, it still looks like somewhere we maybe could live... But no one has grass and almost every house I looked at had a cactus of some kind. What the cactus?! If there's no grass, where will my dog play? If the only plants are cacti, what will my dog eat when she has a tummy ache? On the upside, having a pool would be SWEET!! So, there's the latest on that front. There is another career fair coming up and Derek is sure to get more interviews from that. I'm still hoping for the south!

We watched my favorite episode of Friends last night, hence the title. Awesomeness!

Guess its time to go clean now.

Peace out homefrys!

Mmm, Sunshine...

The sun came out today. It was out yesterday too, but I noticed it especially today. Sunshine always brings a flutter of hope to my heart. I feel stronger, healthier, happier when the sun is shining. Even more so when I can only feel its intense heat on my face and skin. I happen to love having really dark hair because it heats up so quickly in the sun. Of course, sometimes in the middle of a July I might feel a little less happy about that fact... But in the dead of December, its awesome. I'm staring out of the big window my desk faces in my office... and pondering all the ways that God shows His love for me, and for us as people. When I see the stark contrast of snow white mountains against a beautiful blue sky, I know that God loves me. I feel like He is speaking directly to me saying "Look Dawn, I know you're unhappy about some things here, but look at the beauty I am giving you today. Let it lift your spirit." And it does. I just wish I could be better about keeping that with me when things aren't sunny and beautiful. I wish I could still see the beauty in things when the sky is cloudy. Oh, all the different ways I mean that....

But today, at least, I am happy. I feel like I could do anything, be anything. I am so excited to see what the next few months will bring. We will know soon where we're headed after April is over. I am looking forward to a new adventure some place I've probably never been. I am still holding out hope that it will be somewhere sunny! Haha. But that will come in time. More than anything, I am excited to start living again. I am excited to make friends again and to be myself again. I feel like I've been hiding in a shell for the last two years here. I can feel the shell breaking. I can feel all the remnants of my old self returning. I am happy to talk to strangers again. I am getting comfortable in my own skin again (which, oddly enough, looks nothing at all like it used to!) and I am feeling confidence I haven't felt in years. All this excites me beyond words. I am so looking forward to meeting my baby girl and showing her all the wonderful things about this world... and I'm so excited that I actually feel like there ARE wonderful things to show her still.

Mmm... Sunshine. It makes me feel particularly insightful. In case you didn't notice... :) Sorry, I know this isn't really just MY place to talk (its Derek's too) but I just had some things to say and no journal with me, so you get what you get. Haha.

Peace out homefrys!

Christmas! (and some other stuff)

This is my bass guitar and Derek's Guitar Hero guitar. He bought me an amp cord so I can play her (her name is Cherry, by the way.) and my parents bought us Guitar Hero so Derek can practice some more. We love playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band with my family. They are nuts!!














You'd think he was a 5 year old getting his first bike for Christmas by the look on his face.... But that's my Derek! It is actually a 3 pound bag of gummi bears.












This looks like a ball of wrapping paper garbage, but its really a tie wrapped like 6 times and with 13 bows. I thought the bows might distract from the ugly wrapping...








So Christmas was a lot of fun this year. We went to my grandma's house on Christmas Eve and had so much fun at our party there. After the party, we went to my mom's house with all my family. Cliff and Melissa had family pictures taken and they turned out SO cute! Cayson is such a little stud. We opened our presents that we got for each other and had a lot of fun. We got totally spoiled by everyone. We got some really fun gifts. Liliana even got some adorable Oklahoma Sooners binkies and little OU pajamas. SO CUTE!!! My mom gave me some more ornaments to add to my collection, including a cute Coke can (that looks awesome next to my ketchup bottle) and a cute one for me and Derek. Derek got a huge padded frisbee that reminded us of the time when we were playing frisbee in the park and he got hit in the face by it. I'm not sure if getting hit by this one will hurt more or less.... We laughed and laughed until my face hurt. We finally had to go home around 11 or so. The drive home was pretty scary when we got to point of the mountain and the wind started blowing snow around so bad that we could hardly see the road. It was nice to finally be home and safe from the storm.
Christmas morning Derek tried waking me up WAY too early. I really felt like the Grinch when I talked him into going back to sleep... but I didn't feel bad enough to actually get up. Haha. We finally got out of bed around 10 and opened our gifts. It was fun to wake up to our own little tree on Christmas morning. We played Guitar Hero for a while and some of our other gifts. Then we got ready and went to Derek's grandma's for a party there. It was fun to hang out with everyone. It is crazy over there b/c I'm so used to my family. We don't have any little kids in my family anymore. All of my cousins are older. But Derek is the oldest grandchild in his family, so there are tons of little kids. Our baby is going to be the first great-grandchild... which is so weird to think about b/c Alice and Dan (Derek's grandparents) do not seem anywhere NEAR old enough to have that title!!!

Needless to say, it was hard to get back to work yesterday! Right now I am just waiting for Derek to get off of work. I really hate that he has to work Saturdays, but I guess that's just the way it is sometimes. Soon enough he'll graduate and then be part of the normal 5-days-a-week workforce! I am looking forward to that!

Today we are going to go to dinner and a movie to celebrate our second anniversary! It is actually tomorrow, but since tomorrow is Sunday we're celebrating today. I can't believe its been two years! It has been so much fun and I'm looking forward to what is to come.

Oh, one more thing...
Do you people realize that it is almost JANUARY?!?! And it's almost 2009??? OH. MY. GOODNESS. That means that our baby is almost here... Derek's graduation is almost here... my days in Utah are NUMBERED!!!!!!! Woo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So many awesome things to look forward to in 2009.... and I just can't wait!!

We hope everyone had as wonderful of a holiday as we did!

Peace out homefrys!

Alright, I'm Giving In...

This is my baby belly at 27 weeks.














This is a candid shot of me looking at my belly. She started moving all weird right when this pic was being taken...